The Rest of Thailand in a Nutshell by Filipe Martins

The Rest of Thailand in a Nutshell

As self proclaimed Chief Editor of this blog I am writing to apologise for not having written anything sooner. There are many in and outs and what have you and so will not go into it. After Chiangmai we went to Ko Samui which is an island in the south about 10mins away from the Koh Pagnan where the full moon antics occur. The bus took a whole day and saturated my tolerance for bus transportation so now I am pretty limited as I do not want to see another train (due to India) or a bus. Flying is definitely the way forward maybe not according to green activists who maybe monitoring my carbon footprint. One message to you tree hugging crazy people kiss my kulu.

Upon arrival to Ko Samui we asked the taxi to take us to a hotel etc (cheap and cheerful). The taxi driver sounded desperate in taking us and lowered his rates astonishingly low. I realized on route why. He owed a considerable amount in petrol fees to the local “gas” station as he asked that we pay upfront as well as running on empty the entire journey. We ended up getting a bungalow beside the beach, it was really nice for the 12 GBP we paid. After catching a few well needed zzzzzzzz we set out on exploring the island. Ko Samui is strange the beaches are amazing, long white sandy beaches with turquoise water. However it has been ruined by all the concrete hotels that have been put up all in the name of commercial enterprise. Ah yes should I mention the fact that it is package holiday central. There is a huge strip something similar to San Anton, Cyprus and most probably the infamous Shangluff (magaluf). A strip of filth and sin being practiced upon the hour, lights everywhere. The amount of aussies would make a pub in Southfields look like a tiny gathering in comparison. Last but not least the prostitutes have an innovative way to catch their customers or should I say cliental. Whilst sitting in a bar having a cold Chang I was approached by a beautiful local, hmmm I say to myself this is strange. A “hello my name is Lisa” followed and out of nowhere she manages to produce a full size connect 4 set. I had not played connect 4 for soo long I decided to take her up on her challenge. Let me start by telling you that she must play a hell of a lot and that she should take this up as a career. If there are such a thing as professional connect 4 players. She was unbelievable taking a 6 to 0 lead on my dumbfounded ass. Ok I realised her game pretty quickly but my competitiveness prevailed I was only focused on reducing the deficit and to be victorious. I managed to go on a 4 win streak until we were rudely interrupted by a bar man asking me if I was thirsty. The young lady asked for a cocktail and I a beer. I suddenly realised I was being had, she ordered the most expensive drink in the bar, well it sounded bloody expensive. When the barman returned I saw on the tray the requested cold Chang and a very colourful drink with more umbrellas than a beach in peak season in the Algarve. Infact it looked more like a fruit salad to be honest. I told the barman I was married and that I simply wanted to play connect 4, he replied “ohhh hmmm ok just pay half” I saw this as a lucky escape and handed over the wad of cash.

That was the night I was introduced to the famous Thai bucket. Ok it cannot be emphasized enough at this point (sorry for Z instead of S but this version of word in USA so suck it up guys) just how LETHAL these bad boys are. I went to the bar and asked for a whisky bucked the bar lady fetched a childs sand beach bucket and filled it with ice and cola. I then wondered if this whiskey cola drink actually took any whiskey she saw the expression on my face and told me in an assuring tone and a smile “don’t worry its coming”. A medium size bottle of Teachers whiskey appeared, at this point I was wondering how many shots of whiskey go into these famous buckets. Well the whole bottle was poured I was bamboozled. All this for 5 GBP, it is ridiculous. Well the next day hangover was just as lethal as the buckets. We were all in pain neither one braving the sunlight making sure we were deeply embedded into the duvets.

Full moon party just 48 hours to go. Hmmm we had a great idea lets take the short boat ride to koh pagnan and see where the party will be held etc get our bearings. OF course the plan was to have a quiet one. I was warned that the pre parties are better than the full moon party something that I actually agree with in all honestly. We arrived in Koh Pagnan around 10 pm I came up with an idea of getting a beach hut so as not to return to Koh Samui but to have somewhere on the island to catch some shut eye. At the port a man said he knew a place where they just might have a free hut available as everything was fully booked in the centre. We caught a small boat around the island as this beach is only accessible by boat. This for me was an incredible experience, the moon was out in its full force which produced just enough light allowing us to make out the cliff faces and various features along the island coast. The boat ride lasted 15 mins or so, there was water splashing into the boat and with the moon reflecting off the what seemed a never ending ocean I have to admit coming traveling seemed worth it if not for that view. The taxi driver was funny and whitty constantly talking. We met a really friendly guy traveling also, he was a racer (I think motorbikes) pretty famous I think. We got a great deal and a nice hut just as I had imagined. We set out to Hadrin beach where the full moon party would be held the following day, I noticed that there was no aircon unit in the hut but I simply was too excited to point out my observation and we caught the taxi boat back round. I forgot to mention that there were no ports, the boat simply rides up to the coast and you have to jump out into the shallow water and make your way inland. Hadrin beach looked like it was ready to house the predicted 15,000 people but there were considerably less on that premature night and “I likey” as it was more chilled. A great place to meet people from all over the world and a terrible place to meet all those bogan aussies. We were introduced to an even more lethal bucket on Koh Pagnan. If memory serves me right I believe it was called Samsong or Sumsong. The key ingredient in my opinion has to be the red bull (well a cheaper imitation) which is poured from a flask that looks like it should house poison (which it probably was). You need at least two buckets before this concoction was drinkable. I didn’t feel drunk I felt drugged it’s a weird feeling, I came to a conclusion that I would lay off this stuff and go onto more traditional drinks. We ended up making our way to the hut around 9 am I wasn’t the slightest bit tired it was that poisonous red bull equivalent. We all managed to sleep but were awakened by a serious heat wave which made the hut a microwave, I was absolutely roasting, as fast as I was taking in fluids I was sweating it out. Probably the worst place to house a hangover. In writing this I am realizing that the Full Moon party involved a lot of alcohol. We woke up at 6 pm and set out on a mission to have nice food before the festivities began. Well one very small pizza later we went towards the beach. We met these two guys that were traveling, really nice straight shooter type of people. We chilled at a bar and talked as the party heated up. I felt like shit so I decided to hit the samsong to get me going. One bucket later I was firing on all cylinders and was ready for one more night of excess. The beach was packed, absolutely rammed. As I looked around I appreciated just how great it is to be a male. Our toilet was simply the ocean you could see a row of around 1000 men every one time using the ocean as a urinal. I couldn’t believe it when I saw skinny dippers splashing around in the water really close by. Also I couldn’t believe the amount of shameless people who were having “sexual relations” Bill Clinton style on the beach in front of everyone, I was hoping the Sun Newspaper would be doing an undercover operation where all this would be documented and the people shammed. Apart from that which did have it humorous side the party was great. I had body paints splashed all over me as well as a carefully drawn out Portuguese flag. The music was great as the each bar had a different sound blaring out on to the sandy beach. When you stood between two you felt like you were literally in no mans land. People a meter apart where dancing completely different, what I mean is to different beats. Looking at all the psychedelic moves I was wondering how future generations will be dancing, I felt ridiculous how can this be dancing. Waving arms around, you know which dance moves I mean and we have all be criminally involved.

Knowing that the sweat box hut was waiting Mark and I decided to head back to Samui to the much nicer air conditioned room. We took the fast boat, it really was fast as the name suggested shaving 25 mins off the slow boat journey time. Off to Samui were we slept for 20 hours. Our diet took a turn for the worst we ate mainly shit from 7 – 11. Something I do not want to repeat especially as Thailand has amazing cuisine. Can I point out that I knew before traveling that Weli liked cake and milk and he could eat at all hours. But Mark is something else out so much so I can not watch anymore. Eating at all hours of the day crisps, biscuits and main meals. If there are 200 biscuits he will eat 200 biscuits if there are 10 he will eat 10. Its constant eating pot noodles, crisps, biscuits and general snacks. I always say Mark how can you do this but the kids in denial what can I say he says he has self control and can stop whenever he wants. I gave a clear Pringle case which occurred not too long ago. Once you pop you really cant stop, I would say that the pringle test is a great example of self control. 2 tubes in 2 hours, yeah Mark great self control.

The next day we took the coach upto Bangkok to meet Arts and his parents. We arrived pretty early so I decided to walk around Bangkok with Mark while Weli went to bed in the worst accommodation money couldn’t buy. We saw the monks doing their morning rounds for sustenance i.e. money and food from the people. We walked past the grand palace and kept going through markets and away from Koh Sahn Road. We then made our way to the hotel that Mark had stayed with his parents the last time he was here “Shangrila Hotel” for a breakfast. It was great, we ate along the river and enjoyed a buffet breakfast with all the food we could eat.

Art’s parents had planned a weekend in Pataya a beach resort an hour from Bangkok. Pataya was really nice, the beach was pretty small and I guess it is its close proximity to Bangkok which makes it a perfect weekend getaway. We stayed at an amazing 5 star called the Dusit Thai overlooking the beach. Its dangerous staying in 5 star hotels as we found out the hard way as it is very hard to return to normal housing and accommodation hahaha. Well not much to say about Pataya, it was a more relaxing weekend. We did go to a shooting range with Art’s father to shoot Berettas. That was one heck of an experience you cannot imagine the amount of recoil making films like double impact starring van dame very unreal. Of course I got a better score than Weli which we managed to argue about for hours on end. With Art’s parents they made sure we experienced the Thai cuisine and all its great flavours it had to offer. After Pataya we went back to Bangkok. Again Arts showed us around, on the Monday we visited the Grand Palace which in my opinion be included in the list of the wonders of the world. That night we went for a coffee at a really typical thai place as well as scouring yet another night bazaar. This one was a lot bigger than Chiangmai as to be expected. The following day we drove out of town to visit a floating market. I loved the floating market experience a must do when visiting Thailand. We ate and shopped at the same time, something very right and wrong at the same time. The old ladies would grab onto our boat and pull there boats closer. They would put fruits etc in our faces and give us an elevated price which we would try our best to barter down.

Now the world is very small but when you are in a floating market an hour away from Bamgkok and you come across people you met in Dubai. Did I mention this was not arranged, this was pure chance we met Ahmed Habib, one of Habib Jihad school friends. How weird is that! The last days in Bangkok were creeping up on us. The last day involved plenty of packing and checking out. I made a mistake about the flight to Hanoi for some reason we decided to go to the airport 4 hours early, we just made the flight. Off to Vietnam.

Hope this keeps many of you hard working people busy.

The Thailand Experience So Far

The last few days in the more luxurious accommodation at Dona Paula Beach in Goa along with a Cathay Pacific flight was a welcome transition to the Thai experience. Landing in Bangkok International airport immediately we noticed the difference in class, order and structure in comparison to Mumbai airport. Infact Bangkok airport made Dubai International look nothing more than mediocre. After obtaining the Thai stamp on our passports our main aim was to find a place to stay. It was yet another all night travel experience. We all agreed that as we were returning to Bangkok after a week in Chiang Mai and the islands in the south we would just party the whole weekend and make visiting tourist attractions a low priority. Well Party is what we did. As far as budgeting is concerned that weekend blew any sort of projected financial plans we may of had for this trip. What happened to the 50p beers I have been told so much of in the UK or the buckets that cost all most next to nothing. Is everything I hear from my friends bullshit? I heard the same about Latvia. Maybe an explanation is time and things always sound a lot better when your telling the story 6 months down the line. This blog will act as my testament, if any of you find me in a pub talking about 50p beers in Thailand you are officially allowed to give me a friendly slap.
Bangkok is great, definitely a passing city, a fantastic place to spend a long weekend. We decided in the Taxi from the airport to go to the Backpacker central area the infamous Koh Sahn Road. We were told by an Australian backpacker on the internal flight from Delhi to Mumbai about a great place to stay behind the Burger King. Hmmm armed with these instructions we attempted to find the place. Surprisingly we found said hostel with relative ease only to find out that it was fully booked. Luckily we ended up staying at a place called “@ Home” right next door. I would have to say that the 5£ per night fee was money well spent. The place was really clean and had air con. I hear there has been lost of snow in London, well in Thailand it averages around 32 degrees. After copping some well needed zzzzzzzz we walked to the crazy Koh Sahn Road. The place is full of lights and food stalls. As you walk from one end to the other you are enticed by all the various foods on show, I find myself constantly eating in Thailand. There are so many distractions on this road that you find 100m takes 1 hour to walk. This place is an obvious tourist trap, no one can deny that but it’s still great fun. We pretty much stayed local the first night enjoying the great variety of Thai beers. We met loads of people mostly backpackers as you do in Thailand everyone sharing their experiences so far giving advice wherever possible. I would say a great way to get intel on various places instead of using the booby-trap that is lonely planet. The following day we definitely dealt with treating our bodies like temples. I would say that we had a typical Paris Hilton day. We woke up very late around 2pm roughly. We then walked to a Spa with the intention of having a Thai Massage. Upon arriving we changed our minds and went for the full treatment this included a facial. I would have to say in the manliest possible way that it was a great hangover cure and definitely something I would do again not just because my skin was silky smooth (hahah) but because of the level of comfort and relaxation I was in., We all came out glowing and fresh and we stumbled across a very interesting food stand. Not like your touristic food stand in Koh Sahn Road where prices are more variable than an oscillating wave. It was a massive food stand with a variety of food being cooked, I wanted to eat everything. The guy working knocked us up a plate each we paid a grand total of 90 Thai Baht thats around 2£ for all three of us. Right next to the stand we helped ourselves to fresh fruit juices. We have been having drinks with ice your perfectly all right in Bangkok.
We had one more night in Bangkok, a Saturday night in Bangkok. We booked coach tickets for Chiang Mai for the following day and we proceeded to focus on the good times. We chilled in Koh Sahn Road for a few drinks ( 3L towers of Chang drop like warm honey) at the Koh Sahn Centre Pub, a really chilled place always packed. We then went to a nightclub nearby, it was really expensive and closed at 1am. We couldn’t accept that it was our time to sleep so we got a Tuk Tuk to a late license place called Sin. We didn’t realise that it was so far and we were 6 in a Tuk Tuk on highway we definitely turned heads. Sin was full of locals and the paranoia starts to kick in “are they really women? ”. We met some cool locals (girls and boys) and they showed us where to go for some local food in Nana. On the way there I couldn’t believe how many old men had Thai young girls on their side hmmmm. The food in Nana was great, it was outdoors under the skyrail, very local as we were the only foreigners there. After eating for the 5th time in 24 hours we called it a night.
The trip to Chiang Mai was ok, we took a coach as I couldn’t take another train after India. It took 12 hours and set us back around 10£. We stopped in a few places to eat and for the smokers to get their fix. We finally got to Chian Mai on Monday morning with Arts ready to pick us up. I would have to say that our time in the north was the best time I have had this holiday and that Arts and his family are the definition of hospitality. He let Weli and Mark stay who he doesn’t know at all. His house was beautiful and very big just outside of central Chiang Mai. The 5 days in the North were jammed packed of things to do. We finally got to a routine of waking up early which has been the vane of the trip so far. Weli is the antichrist of waking up encouraging everyone to lie in and waste away. Always being the last one in the shower so as to catch those valuable 10 mins of sleep. I have started throwing water on him as words are wasted. We stayed in Chiang Mai for a day eating in great places and seeing the sites. Chiang Mai is completely different to Bangkok with very few similarities. Where Bangkok is a perfect city to pass by for a few days, Chiang Mai is the sort of place I would recommend staying if you have the time. We visited on the most famous temples in Chiang Mai as well as passing through the Chiang Mai palace or Kings Residence. I think Alan Titchmarsh would have passed out in a state of extreme pleasure had he seen their gardens. We also saw Chiang Mai university where Arts studied before meeting me at Imperial College last year. The university reminded me more of a Portuguese University more campus based than say UCL, plus they wear uniform. We ate that afternoon near the uni where all the students go.
Arts organised a trip to Pai, which is even further north than Chiang Mai pretty close to the boarder with Burma. The road was old and went around every possible mountain range in Northern Thailand, a hassle to get there but well well worth it. Pai is my favourite place so far on my travels and I will definitely come back in the future. It is a hidden village right in the middle of a valley completely isolated and surrounded by jungle. Our hotel was amazing with a great view of the crystal clean Pai river and an untouched hill side. Absolutely breathtaking. Arts showed me around the site of his new hotel that he is building in Pai. The website is www.montisresort.com i think, it will be opened in Oct 2009, having seen the plans it will be the perfect place to stay and relax. Pai almost reminds me of a village in the alpes minus the snow if that makes sense. That afternoon Arts arranged an elephant ride for all of us at his cousins Elephant farm. I have always wanted to ride an elephant, they are wonderful creatures and very slow. We went for a couple of hours through the jungle bareback, which led to a sore arse for the next few days. That afternoon we managed to also go down Pai river on a bambo raft. Personally that was my favourite experience as the nature was even more untouched and along the river we could see locals and old farming techniques being employed. Of course we made it a race, Art and I on one raft and Weli and Mark on the other. There were some foreigners in Pai, I reckon that in 10 years that will be a definite on backpackers itineraries. The following day we visited one of many waterfalls in the north. It was so big but very picturesque, of course I swam at the bottom, check the pics.
When we returned to Chiang Mai we ate at a great restaurant with Arts Parents, again the food was top quality. The next and final day in Chiang Mai we went for Thai fast food for breakfast right in the centre of the city, behind the historical old walls and moat. I was expecting a McDonalds type restaurant but when Arts said fast food he literally meant it. Upon ordering 4 ladies managed to put the food down in seconds. The food again was really nice and tasty however all this rice is making us all constipated. I need fibre, as soon as I lay my eyes on a pack of All Bran I will not hesitate to over dose my body in the stuff. We spent all day site seeing around the city as well as attending the infamous night Bazaar, where Weli went out of control and bought everything he laid his eyes on. Anyway folks I finally managed to get up-to-date with this blog I have 16 hours ahead of me on this god forsaken trip to the south for the full moon party in Koh Pangan.
Until the next and remember you stay classy San Diego (Ron Burgundy from Anchorman).

Goa by Filipe

The idea of catching a 27 hour train from the infamous Delhi central station to Goa after the chaotic experience of the 17 hour Mumbai to Delhi fiasco made me at least feel physically sick. I decided to unleash a wave of manipulative persuasion on the guys to avoid catching the train not realising that very little was necessary to sway them into catching an internal flight. The decesion was unanimous to go by plane Ahhh the tickets were booked we would be there in 2 hours on Indigo Air for £60.
On arriving to Vasco da Gama I immediately noticed that the aromatic Delhi city smell had been left behind somewhere near the Delhi Central Station area I would imagine. Goa is beautiful and a complete contrast to Mumbai and Delhi. The clean air inflowing into my lungs cleansing my contaminated aveoli and the well preserved architecture from the Portuguese colonial days made me feel just fine and dandy. I didn’t feel that I was in mainland India but more on an island. We decided at the airport that we would go to Arambol beach in the north to live on a beach shack in true hippie fashion. A 1250 rupee taxi ride later we arrived. We had officially arrived in hippie land, dread locks, tattoos covering 90% of all body parts, bob Marley music, musicians, marijuana and all the stereotypical clichés that they are associated with. Everyone was walking around the market stalls in bare foot I could only think of the hygiene risks associated.
On walking onto the sandy beach with the heavy rucksacks that will explain spinal problems when we are all old and grey as we definitely over packed as we seem to be leaving clothes everywhere in an aim of reducing net weight. Mark is definitely the worst of the group having started this epic journey with an astonishing 30 kg on a wheely bag.
In writing this a week later what happened in Goa is pretty cloudy because we pretty much over relaxed and I can’t differentiate between the days and so I will attempt in being as vague as possible with dates. Goa involved a lot of sleeping, drinking, some site seeing and clubbing. We would relax on the beach almost every night and watch the sun set, which is a breathtaking experience and something I never got tired of. We continued the trend of eating local food, having thought we had avoided the dreaded Delhi Belly. Goan food is pretty amazing, the curry is completely different containing a lot less cream etc. One of the days we had fresh fish, Mark and I choose a variety including lobster yummy. What I am about to say might come as an absolute shock to many so brace yourselves for the unveiling of the true Goan experience.
In going to Goa I was expecting on a social and nightlife level crazy psychedelic trance parties on the beaches till the early hours of the following afternoon. I was expecting hippie gatherings around bomb fires on the beach with live music and crazy dancing. Ohh we did scour the beaches for these famous parties (mostly rumours) to no avail. I felt we had to chase the night a bit too hard in Goa, I guess one comparison would be going to Ibiza and spending 4 hours looking for a crowd of people. Ohhh and can I say that the Russians have completely invaded Goa, I found myself picking up a few words in Sputnik.
Goa has beautiful villas left behind by the Portuguese but even more impressive are the various churches scattered around the state. It ponged of typical colonial architecture, having lived in Portugal I could definitely see influences from churches back home. For the last two days we decided to change beach and go to Dona Paula beach near Paniji the capital, we stomped up the cash and stayed in a very nice beach hotel resort. We took advantage of the laundry service provided, which we duly reciprocated with 15kg of laundry. Fresh clothing finally, no fabreeze abuse on the clothes.
The last days in Goa we found ourselves talking about the following destination “Thailand”.
From comments being left, some may think I hate India. I don’t hate India, I just find it unbelievable how they can be so far behind with respect to poverty and service but seem to have one of the fastest growing economies. On leaving Mumbai you have to pass the immigration desk. Now is this coincidence or do these people have absolute power and demonstrate this by not giving a flying f*ck about their jobs. She kept me waiting behind the yellow line for 5 mins whilst she attended to a personal call on her mobile. Ok it could be a family emergency, give her the benefit of the doubt, what about when I was summoned to her desk for her to progress on having another phone conversation. A joke in my opinion.